A thing I’m mad at today

This article.

There are so many things wrong with it.  Starting with the fact that it assumes throughout that all subs are female and all doms are male.  That’s just flat-out not true and problematic to assume.

But the big issue here is: this article fails to acknowledge that, if BDSM were more acceptable in the mainstream eye, these issues would be totally different.

If BDSM was understood by everyone, with all the complications of consent and negotiation that go along with it, then people wouldn’t be able to use BDSM as some kind of generic cover for shitty things that happen in the BDSM community.  It shouldn’t be, “Oh, we shouldn’t accept BDSM because look at all these bad things that’ve happened.”  It should be, “Oh, we shouldn’t accept these bad things that’ve happened just because some people like to have sex differently.”  Wanting BDSM to be more mainstream isn’t about wanting to be able to bring your girlfriend to a party on a leash, as the article suggests (I don’t even know); it’s about wanting to be able to say, “This person did such and such without my consent,” and not having the backlash be, “Wellll, you did tell him to tie you up and spank you, so what did you expect?”